Friday, April 16, 2010

The dance effect

This may sound conceited, but I think that I could have sex with 80% of the men (and/or women) who see me dance. I'm not a professional dancer, by any means, but I know how to shake my ass. And I've picked up people/been hit on after someone has seen me do my thing, when they did not seem interested before.

I think an underlying issue is that there's something about a body in motion that both draws attention away from potential flaws, and draws attention TO what your body is capable of. This is part of why runners are so sexy--it's one activity we see (not just in a gym) all the time! They aren't just decorative, they're focused and determined and sweating and into it. Which is...very very very sexy. To me, anyway. Which is basically what counts. :D

They also tend to fit the slender ideal, which is kind of problematic, but on the other hand, seeing the men's running club go by shirtless is pretty awesome.

And both of these activities exude confidence; both in ability and general "I may be making a fool of myself but it's what *I* want to be doing". Which is tremendously attractive.


I've had sex to the Bloodhound Gang's 'Bad Touch'...It was actually okay. We both came. And laughed a lot. And it makes a good story!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Ellen Bass is one of my favorite poets ever

God and the G-Spot
by Ellen Bass

“He didn’t want to believe. He wanted to know.”
--Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan’s wife, on why he didn't believe in God.

I want to know too. Belief and disbelief
are a pair of tourists standing on swollen feet
in the Prado--I don't like it.
I do.--before the Picasso.

Or the tattoo artist with a silver stud
in her full red executive lips,
who, as she inked in the indigo blue, said,
I think the G-spot's one of those myths
men use to make us feel inferior.

God, the G-spot, falling in love. The earth round
and spinning, the galaxies speeding
in the glib flow of the Hubble expansion.
I'm an East Coast Jew. We all have our opinions.

But it was in the cabin at La Selva Beach
where I gave her the thirty tiny red glass hearts
I'd taken back from my husband when I left.
He'd never believed in them. She, though, scooped
them up like water, let them drip through her fingers
like someone who has so much she can afford to waste.

That's the day she reached inside me
for something I didn't think I had.
And like pulling a fat shining trout from the river
she pulled the river out of me. That's
the way I want to know God.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Oh really

I once had an ex-lover attempt to reassure me that he didn't get fatigued giving oral sex, and to illustrate the fortitude of his mouth, he declared that "I once bit a trumpet in half".

Suffice to say, my pants stayed on because I laughed for a good half hour straight. (Apparently he had intended to say he had played trumpet, and it made his mouth strong enough to bite things in half..? Yeah, I don't know either.)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Don't judge me!

I went to swim the other day. It was, as it very frequently is, fairly crowded (this is a large university's biggest gym). There was one lane with only one other person in it, so I went over, sat on the side of the pool, and asked the young guy standing there if I could split the lane with him. He looked at me--sitting, in a tight swimsuit, making no attempt to not slouch/pull in my belly/try to make myself look thinner--and gave me a kind of nonplussed expression. But he grudgingly said okay, and I jumped in.

And I was twice as fast as him. I made a point of passing him several times. Because I am pretty fucking fast and it's very satisfying to totally stomp on the stereotype of overweight ≠ active or in shape. It's not that I'm not super heavy, but I'm certainly an in-betweenie and not the image of the thin college athlete. Also, yay swimming!

Though, as a sidenote, I am trying to be vegetarian/as vegan as I can, and I'm worried about my athletic performance. :/

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Bloggy weirdness

Apparently, when I have started a draft of a post, then publish it a couple days later, it posts it in the order of when I started writing. So that's not cool, new stuff isn't at the top. Crankyface...Hopefully it is fixable.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Non-Needle Tattooing

I would love to have a henna session with a lover. Or even washable marker, if semi-lasting designs are a bad idea. I've always been fascinated with henna, and there are some designs that would look AMAZING if you had the whole body as a canvas. (Think bold tribal designs cupping a woman's breasts and swirling down around her hips and hipbones, or tiger stripes along the ribs).

Or, if you wanted to be funny, handprints on the ass. Or a "___ WAS HERE" graffiti.